1 00:00:00,851 --> 00:00:06,121 ? 2 00:00:12,203 --> 00:00:17,573 ? 3 00:00:17,575 --> 00:00:22,671 ? 4 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:25,547 Maya, no. I'm tired. 5 00:00:25,549 --> 00:00:27,649 ? 6 00:00:27,651 --> 00:00:28,784 [SCREAMS] 7 00:00:28,859 --> 00:00:30,185 [SCREAMS] 8 00:00:30,187 --> 00:00:33,589 I don't care if you're tired! I will not be rejected! 9 00:00:33,591 --> 00:00:34,890 [SCREAMS] 10 00:00:34,892 --> 00:00:38,627 [ALL SCREAMING] 11 00:00:38,629 --> 00:00:41,330 I'm every bit as surprised by this as you guys! 12 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:42,297 Ahhh... 13 00:00:42,299 --> 00:00:43,750 [HISSES] 14 00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:46,935 Hey! He learned to come. 15 00:00:46,937 --> 00:00:48,604 Who's a good boy? 16 00:00:48,606 --> 00:00:52,607 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 17 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:54,090 You know I hate snakes. 18 00:00:54,093 --> 00:00:55,997 They're right there on the "Dead to Me" wall... 19 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:56,945 Amphibians. 20 00:00:56,947 --> 00:00:58,013 Snakes aren't amphibians. 21 00:00:58,015 --> 00:00:59,782 "Know-it-alls". Get rid of it. 22 00:00:59,784 --> 00:01:02,351 Come on. It's Christmas, and Christmas is about 23 00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,119 meeting each other in the middle. 24 00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:05,328 It's just not. 25 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:09,324 I'll give the snake away today, but this Christmas I want a dog. 26 00:01:09,326 --> 00:01:11,560 [GASPS] Ooh, a dog. 27 00:01:11,562 --> 00:01:14,163 I've always wanted a dog. No one ever lets me get a dog. 28 00:01:14,165 --> 00:01:15,631 Don't let her play you like this. 29 00:01:15,633 --> 00:01:17,032 She's just changing the subject. 30 00:01:17,034 --> 00:01:18,265 - Please. - Please. 31 00:01:18,268 --> 00:01:20,502 This is really what we're doing at 4:00 a.m.... 32 00:01:20,504 --> 00:01:22,337 - A puppy referendum? - It's a puppy now? 33 00:01:22,339 --> 00:01:25,974 We have talked about this... The responsibility, the expense. 34 00:01:25,976 --> 00:01:28,110 How about this? You don't get us any presents. 35 00:01:28,112 --> 00:01:29,311 None. 36 00:01:29,313 --> 00:01:32,181 I want P-R... "presents". 37 00:01:32,183 --> 00:01:34,085 Well, you are a B-U... "buzzkill". 38 00:01:34,088 --> 00:01:37,382 "I just started F-I... Film class. 39 00:01:37,385 --> 00:01:40,622 I want a c... camera. Can I?" 40 00:01:40,624 --> 00:01:43,859 You're off-topic. Dad was just asking us for a dog. 41 00:01:43,861 --> 00:01:44,893 A dog. 42 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,031 RAY: Guys, I want a dog too, 43 00:01:46,034 --> 00:01:48,030 but according to our lease, we're not allowed. 44 00:01:48,032 --> 00:01:49,398 - You read the lease? - I like to read. 45 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,366 We have like four books. I make due. 46 00:01:51,368 --> 00:01:53,168 We really can't have a dog? 47 00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:54,496 Well, now I want one. 48 00:01:54,499 --> 00:01:57,616 Wait a second. There is one loophole. 49 00:01:57,619 --> 00:01:59,919 We can get a service dog. 50 00:01:59,922 --> 00:02:01,155 [GASPS] 51 00:02:01,158 --> 00:02:04,324 BOTH: We're gonna get a dog! 52 00:02:04,327 --> 00:02:08,083 "You mean I could get a service dog?" 53 00:02:08,085 --> 00:02:11,777 Well, this is not a question I expected to be asking 54 00:02:11,780 --> 00:02:14,456 when I was woken up by a snake four minutes ago, 55 00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:17,426 but here goes... JJ, can we get a service dog? 56 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,895 Come on, JJ. It will be gi-gun-dous. 57 00:02:19,897 --> 00:02:21,757 Yeah, listen to your sister. 58 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,860 She only ever says "gi-gun-dous" 59 00:02:23,863 --> 00:02:26,835 when it's really important... and in Scrabble. 60 00:02:26,837 --> 00:02:27,870 "No." 61 00:02:27,872 --> 00:02:29,071 Yeah, no, the "yes" is right there. 62 00:02:29,073 --> 00:02:30,138 Point there. Point there. 63 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:33,675 "I don't need one. There are people who do. 64 00:02:33,677 --> 00:02:36,144 It's my call. No." 65 00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:38,313 You are full of integrity, JJ. 66 00:02:38,315 --> 00:02:40,182 It's a shame I no longer love you. 67 00:02:40,184 --> 00:02:42,284 Hey, Kenneth, how was your weekend? 68 00:02:42,286 --> 00:02:43,352 - Terrible. - Cool. 69 00:02:43,354 --> 00:02:45,387 You know I moonlight at that grocery store? 70 00:02:45,389 --> 00:02:48,690 These customers are driving me crazy with this turkey giveaway! 71 00:02:48,692 --> 00:02:50,726 - Giveaway? - Yeah. 72 00:02:50,728 --> 00:02:52,828 It's this program where if you spend $100 73 00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:55,022 then you get a free turkey, but these cheapskates 74 00:02:55,025 --> 00:02:58,166 are scrounging other people's receipts to game the system. 75 00:02:58,168 --> 00:03:01,113 So, you don't even have to prove that it's your purchase? 76 00:03:01,116 --> 00:03:03,605 Yeah, I see where somebody can take advantage of that. 77 00:03:03,607 --> 00:03:07,409 Today, I saw this dirtbag walk out of there with eight turkeys. 78 00:03:07,411 --> 00:03:10,078 So, it's not just one turkey? It's unlimited turkeys? 79 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,815 Ah, so, um, what time are you guys open until? 80 00:03:13,817 --> 00:03:15,150 No. 81 00:03:15,152 --> 00:03:17,757 What is more important... My friendship, or free turkey? 82 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,827 You said it was unlimited turkeys. 83 00:03:21,191 --> 00:03:25,327 MELANIE: Okay, cookie-tasters... Batch number three. 84 00:03:25,329 --> 00:03:26,456 Hmm. 85 00:03:26,459 --> 00:03:29,031 Boy, Taylor, if that apron did not say "Mom", 86 00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:31,633 I would think your sister is great at baking cookies. 87 00:03:31,635 --> 00:03:34,909 I know what you're doing... and I love it. 88 00:03:34,912 --> 00:03:36,269 Now, tell me with a straight face 89 00:03:36,272 --> 00:03:38,073 that I still look like I'm in high school. 90 00:03:38,075 --> 00:03:39,441 - Are you not? - Love him. 91 00:03:39,443 --> 00:03:41,076 Should I leave you two alone? 92 00:03:41,078 --> 00:03:43,503 Don't tempt me. I will be all over... 93 00:03:43,506 --> 00:03:45,414 Now that's too far. Too, too far. 94 00:03:45,416 --> 00:03:47,182 Okay, so let's talk about Christmas week. 95 00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:48,684 I was thinking I could come to you 96 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,085 Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 97 00:03:50,087 --> 00:03:51,887 Whoa. Before you keep making plans, 98 00:03:51,889 --> 00:03:53,956 I feel like it's time I met Ray's parents. 99 00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:55,167 Why?! 100 00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:57,259 I mean, they're just regular parents. 101 00:03:57,261 --> 00:04:00,964 They read leases and... stuff. 102 00:04:00,967 --> 00:04:03,165 Well, Taylor's been spending a lot of time in their home, 103 00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:04,933 and I'd like to get a sense of what they're like. 104 00:04:04,935 --> 00:04:06,735 Come on, Mom. Don't be like that. They're great. 105 00:04:06,737 --> 00:04:08,370 Taylor, if that's what she needs to do 106 00:04:08,372 --> 00:04:10,138 to feel comfortable, then I'll set it up. 107 00:04:10,141 --> 00:04:11,707 I mean, I don't know why your sister 108 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,375 wants to meet your boyfriend's mom... 109 00:04:13,377 --> 00:04:15,610 - Just set it up. - Yes, ma'am. 110 00:04:15,612 --> 00:04:20,382 JJ, you still don't want a service dog, right? 111 00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:23,680 Even if he's a good, little boy with a vest, 112 00:04:23,683 --> 00:04:25,273 and a clicker that when you click, 113 00:04:25,276 --> 00:04:27,656 he comes from the next room like it was magic. 114 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:28,724 Maya. 115 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:32,156 "No. I'm crazy." I added that last part. 116 00:04:32,159 --> 00:04:35,797 Right, I just wanted to make sure 'cause you got one. 117 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,401 There's a waiting list, and I guess somebody dropped out, 118 00:04:38,404 --> 00:04:40,135 so they came to you. 119 00:04:40,137 --> 00:04:42,804 They were very moved by your... essay? 120 00:04:42,806 --> 00:04:44,745 "My name is JJ DiMeo. 121 00:04:44,748 --> 00:04:47,842 I am a teenage boy with cerebral palsy"... spelled wrong. 122 00:04:47,845 --> 00:04:49,678 "It is my dream to have a companion"... 123 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,683 Spelled wrong. "It would be"... 124 00:04:51,686 --> 00:04:55,217 Oh, this is spelled correctly... "gi-gun-dous". 125 00:04:55,219 --> 00:04:57,419 ? 126 00:04:57,421 --> 00:05:00,255 Hi, JJ. 127 00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:03,737 "E-X... explain this." 128 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:07,664 Oh, no. Okay, in my defense, 129 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,998 this was supposed to take years to come through. 130 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,299 I was going to tell you. 131 00:05:11,301 --> 00:05:16,605 "You I-G... ignored what I wanted. And you used me. 132 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:21,043 Big mistake. G-I... gi-gun-dous mistake." 133 00:05:21,045 --> 00:05:22,944 JJ, please don't be mad at me. 134 00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:24,279 You're never mad at me. 135 00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:26,314 I don't even know what that would be like. 136 00:05:26,316 --> 00:05:29,584 "Get ready to find out". 137 00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:33,955 ? 138 00:05:33,957 --> 00:05:35,957 You spelled "dog" wrong. 139 00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:38,066 ? 140 00:05:38,069 --> 00:05:39,135 What the... 141 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:40,862 I thought you were better than this! 142 00:05:40,864 --> 00:05:41,776 You did? Why? 143 00:05:41,779 --> 00:05:45,033 I specifically asked you not to do this. 144 00:05:45,035 --> 00:05:46,301 I hope you had fun! 145 00:05:46,303 --> 00:05:48,042 I have started to have fun, yes. 146 00:05:48,045 --> 00:05:50,639 The promotion is meant for paying customers. 147 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:51,907 If I see you at my store, 148 00:05:51,909 --> 00:05:54,336 I will not hesitate to confiscate your receipts. 149 00:05:54,339 --> 00:05:56,411 You keep making this fun for me! 150 00:05:56,413 --> 00:05:58,180 Mm-hmm. Fine. Have it your way. 151 00:05:58,182 --> 00:06:00,886 I'll see you at the dumpsters... 152 00:06:00,889 --> 00:06:05,086 where you did not realize we throw out the receipts. 153 00:06:05,089 --> 00:06:06,855 I'm very bad at this! 154 00:06:06,857 --> 00:06:09,825 Mom, you know how crazy I am about Taylor. 155 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:12,427 I want you to meet her mom, and I want it to go well. 156 00:06:12,429 --> 00:06:14,996 I need "Charming Maya", not "Combative Maya". 157 00:06:14,998 --> 00:06:17,917 When in the history of this entire family have I ever been... 158 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,734 [CHUCKLES] I'm only joking, darling. 159 00:06:19,736 --> 00:06:21,103 No, I'll be fine. I'll be good. 160 00:06:21,105 --> 00:06:23,205 She likes it when you tell her she looks young. 161 00:06:23,207 --> 00:06:25,984 Oh, no. You're not "You look like sisters" guy, are you? 162 00:06:25,987 --> 00:06:29,044 No. That guy? Ew, no one likes that guy. 163 00:06:29,046 --> 00:06:31,980 You're both special-needs moms. She even made you cookies. 164 00:06:31,982 --> 00:06:34,313 - [CRUNCHES] - They are delicious. 165 00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:36,651 I shall take a meeting with the woman who made these cookies. 166 00:06:36,653 --> 00:06:37,753 I'll go tell Taylor. 167 00:06:37,756 --> 00:06:39,503 "Happiest of holidays from the home 168 00:06:39,506 --> 00:06:41,957 of John Merriman and Melanie Hertzal." 169 00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:43,745 [SPITS OUT COOKIE] What did you say? 170 00:06:43,748 --> 00:06:45,861 "Melanie Hertzal." Where do I know that name from? 171 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,629 I'll tell you where you know that name from. 172 00:06:49,758 --> 00:06:51,425 That woman is dead to me. 173 00:06:51,428 --> 00:06:53,061 Awk-waaard. 174 00:06:55,105 --> 00:06:57,511 More awk-waaard. 175 00:06:59,192 --> 00:07:03,063 Of all the people to be Taylor's mom, Melanie Hertzal! 176 00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:05,868 Ugh, she did such a bad thing... 177 00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:07,736 You don't have to pretend to remember. 178 00:07:07,738 --> 00:07:10,899 Look, ten years ago, there was an opening at a school 179 00:07:10,902 --> 00:07:12,493 that would have been perfect for JJ, 180 00:07:12,496 --> 00:07:14,042 and the spot was as good as his. 181 00:07:14,044 --> 00:07:16,535 Then I met Melanie Hertzal at a special-needs mom event. 182 00:07:16,538 --> 00:07:19,614 She told me the application deadline had been moved. 183 00:07:19,616 --> 00:07:22,915 She lied, we missed it, and her kid got the spot. 184 00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:24,673 Stop eating the bloody cookies! 185 00:07:24,676 --> 00:07:26,221 I was eating them out of anger. 186 00:07:26,223 --> 00:07:28,145 Well, do you think you can sit down 187 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,058 with this woman and be civil? 188 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:31,457 [BOTH LAUGH] 189 00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:32,760 I thought you'd like that one. 190 00:07:32,763 --> 00:07:34,429 There's no good version of me meeting her. 191 00:07:34,431 --> 00:07:35,699 You know what might help? 192 00:07:35,702 --> 00:07:37,774 I don't want to get free turkeys. 193 00:07:41,772 --> 00:07:43,505 [SIGHS] 194 00:07:43,507 --> 00:07:46,408 Look. I know you're upset with me, and I respect that. 195 00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:49,444 I'll give you the time and space you need to forgive me. 196 00:07:50,681 --> 00:07:52,881 I'm sorry, JJ! I'm so sorry! 197 00:07:52,883 --> 00:07:55,617 I'm staying here until you forgive me. 198 00:07:55,619 --> 00:07:57,552 [GROANS] 199 00:07:57,554 --> 00:07:59,287 I... I just wanted a dog. 200 00:07:59,289 --> 00:08:02,457 Explain to me why what I did was so wrong. 201 00:08:02,459 --> 00:08:07,662 "You don't even understand what it's like to be me." 202 00:08:07,664 --> 00:08:10,565 No, I don't understand. 203 00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,000 But I'm going to. 204 00:08:12,002 --> 00:08:14,970 I'll speak how you speak... No words. 205 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:19,841 "That's stupid. I want to be U-N... understood. 206 00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:21,843 That will never work." 207 00:08:21,845 --> 00:08:25,213 Well, we're going to find out, starting... 208 00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:28,802 Hm, seems unlikely, but a Dylan who can't speak 209 00:08:28,805 --> 00:08:33,153 is a Dylan who can't criticize my fashion choices. 210 00:08:33,156 --> 00:08:36,558 ? 211 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:40,462 ? 212 00:08:40,464 --> 00:08:42,530 She take a vow of silence or something? 213 00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:50,038 JIMMY: Nice receipt. Come to Papa. 214 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,607 Gotcha. And I found you a friend. 215 00:08:52,609 --> 00:08:57,045 ? 216 00:08:57,047 --> 00:09:01,416 ? 217 00:09:01,418 --> 00:09:05,887 ? 218 00:09:05,889 --> 00:09:08,823 Mmm. Turkey. 219 00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:11,860 You win. No receipts for me. 220 00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:13,528 [COUGHS] 221 00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:16,498 ? 222 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,596 KENNETH: Attention shoppers. The store closes in five minutes. 223 00:09:19,599 --> 00:09:23,438 - Yeah, plenty of time. - Close lane four. 224 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,808 ? 225 00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:30,145 Attention shoppers. The store will close in one minute. 226 00:09:30,147 --> 00:09:31,813 The store's tricky like that. 227 00:09:31,815 --> 00:09:33,338 Close lane three. 228 00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:34,919 ? 229 00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,217 Close lane two! 230 00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:39,788 ? 231 00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:41,685 Hello? Kind of in a hurry here. 232 00:09:43,247 --> 00:09:45,885 Attention, shoppers. We're now closed, 233 00:09:45,888 --> 00:09:48,818 and we'll be killing the lights for dramatic effect. 234 00:09:51,168 --> 00:09:53,716 [LAUGHS] Good night. 235 00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,320 [BOTH LAUGH] 236 00:09:58,608 --> 00:10:00,740 Dylan, I heard you're not talking today. 237 00:10:00,743 --> 00:10:02,544 I certainly hope you're not going to bring 238 00:10:02,546 --> 00:10:05,161 any of that nonsense into your oral exam on civil disobedience. 239 00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:08,650 Nevertheless, she persisted. 240 00:10:08,652 --> 00:10:10,185 "A." 241 00:10:10,187 --> 00:10:12,153 [SIGHS] 242 00:10:12,155 --> 00:10:15,156 "A free 'A'. Yep, that's my life. 243 00:10:15,158 --> 00:10:20,128 You're not learning anything. You can't understand." 244 00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,097 Dylan! Beth Boehm's out of school 245 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,866 for the third day in a row. I think she's pregnant. 246 00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,903 You're right. Gossip is wrong. You're such a good person. 247 00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:31,206 You want to go to Aruba with me and my family? 248 00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:34,876 ? 249 00:10:34,878 --> 00:10:36,029 What are you doing? 250 00:10:36,032 --> 00:10:37,888 Trying to fix the lighting for Melanie's visit. 251 00:10:37,891 --> 00:10:40,294 Did I miss it when we renamed the house "Boom Boom Ranch" 252 00:10:40,297 --> 00:10:43,218 because we sure light it like a brothel. God. 253 00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:46,020 Yeah, about tomorrow... I think we're going to have to cancel. 254 00:10:46,022 --> 00:10:48,389 I ate some bad shrimp and I'm feeling pretty sick. 255 00:10:48,391 --> 00:10:49,927 Can we not just postpone a day? 256 00:10:49,930 --> 00:10:51,560 Do you think you'll be better by Sunday? 257 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,689 I don't know. 258 00:10:52,692 --> 00:10:55,162 I may eat more of that shrimp. It was really good. 259 00:10:55,165 --> 00:10:57,298 Do you not want to meet Melanie? 260 00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:00,869 Ohh, darling, alright. Look. 261 00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:05,237 The truth is... I had a premonition. 262 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:09,857 And I met Melanie. And there was this massive cyber-attack, 263 00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:12,494 countless Hollywood A-listers were hacked. 264 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:15,116 Emma Watson's name was dragged through the mud. 265 00:11:15,118 --> 00:11:17,051 I'm not saying it's going to happen, but, I mean, 266 00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:18,653 do you really want to take that chance? 267 00:11:18,655 --> 00:11:20,622 If you don't want to meet her, I'll figure it out. 268 00:11:20,624 --> 00:11:22,693 Oh, look, it's the hackers. They can't get in. 269 00:11:22,696 --> 00:11:24,146 Well done, darling. 270 00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:32,755 ? 271 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,153 Seriously?! 272 00:11:34,156 --> 00:11:36,370 Ha, Kenneth! 'Sup? 273 00:11:36,373 --> 00:11:38,640 "'Sup" is you're making the hardest part 274 00:11:38,642 --> 00:11:40,341 of my year even harder. Why? 275 00:11:40,343 --> 00:11:42,310 What the hell are you gonna do with 20 turkeys? 276 00:11:42,312 --> 00:11:43,711 Nothing. 277 00:11:43,713 --> 00:11:44,812 I need 30. 278 00:11:44,814 --> 00:11:46,181 Oh, that I get. 279 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:48,316 It's my first Christmas as a boss. 280 00:11:50,053 --> 00:11:54,088 Every Christmas, my dad's boss would get turkeys 281 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:57,158 for all his employees, and I wanted to be that guy. 282 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,328 But I can't afford it, so I'm collecting receipts. 283 00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:03,231 Wait, so you'd rather I think you're a total dirtbag 284 00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:06,067 than admit that you're trying to be a good boss? 285 00:12:06,069 --> 00:12:08,336 I thought you'd think it was stupid. 286 00:12:08,338 --> 00:12:11,673 I get unfulfilled holiday dreams. 287 00:12:11,675 --> 00:12:15,643 I've always wanted to be an office Santa. 288 00:12:15,645 --> 00:12:18,746 Not "Black Santa", just Santa. 289 00:12:18,748 --> 00:12:21,416 And nobody making "ho ho ho" pimp jokes. 290 00:12:21,418 --> 00:12:22,383 [CHUCKLES] 291 00:12:22,385 --> 00:12:23,918 They suck. 292 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,087 You know what? 293 00:12:26,089 --> 00:12:29,657 I can be regular Santa to at least one little boy. 294 00:12:31,027 --> 00:12:32,627 [SQUELCHES] 295 00:12:32,629 --> 00:12:33,724 Not receipts? 296 00:12:33,727 --> 00:12:35,230 Feels like tuna. 297 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,031 [SIGHS] 298 00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:46,374 ? 299 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,716 _ 300 00:12:52,544 --> 00:12:54,427 _ 301 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,236 _ 302 00:13:00,451 --> 00:13:06,240 _ 303 00:13:08,216 --> 00:13:11,740 _ 304 00:13:15,472 --> 00:13:17,130 [LAUGHS] 305 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,661 _ 306 00:13:22,810 --> 00:13:24,833 _ 307 00:13:27,529 --> 00:13:29,196 - Hey, Mom. - Hey, Mrs. DiMeo. 308 00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:30,933 Oh, hello, Taylor. I didn't know you were coming. 309 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,086 What a nice surprise. 310 00:13:32,088 --> 00:13:35,123 Well, if you like surprises of people coming over, then, uh... 311 00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:37,258 Mrs. DiMeo, I'd like you to meet... 312 00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:38,826 Melanie Hertzal. 313 00:13:38,828 --> 00:13:42,597 Melanie! You're here! And you've met. 314 00:13:42,599 --> 00:13:44,341 This went well. Turkey for the road? 315 00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,000 No, Dad, she just got here. 316 00:13:46,002 --> 00:13:47,690 Maya, you look very familiar. 317 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,203 I used to be a model. 318 00:13:49,205 --> 00:13:50,171 Really? When? 319 00:13:50,173 --> 00:13:51,973 Let the woman have been a model. 320 00:13:51,975 --> 00:13:52,950 Thanks for coming. 321 00:13:52,953 --> 00:13:54,942 You should know we absolutely adore Ray. 322 00:13:54,944 --> 00:13:57,111 He was so excited about getting us together, 323 00:13:57,113 --> 00:13:58,880 and we're both special-needs moms, 324 00:13:58,882 --> 00:14:00,307 we gotta stick together, right? 325 00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:03,544 Well, most of us do, but some of us are weak, 326 00:14:03,547 --> 00:14:05,811 and we hear about a slot at the perfect school, 327 00:14:05,814 --> 00:14:08,055 and lie about the application date. 328 00:14:08,058 --> 00:14:12,193 And we take a very long time to see where this is going. 329 00:14:12,195 --> 00:14:13,487 Oh, no. 330 00:14:13,490 --> 00:14:16,158 Oh, yes. You broke the sacred bond, 331 00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:20,435 the bond between special-needs mom and special-needs mom/model. 332 00:14:20,437 --> 00:14:21,936 You stole the spot from my son! 333 00:14:21,938 --> 00:14:23,471 I did no such thing. 334 00:14:23,473 --> 00:14:27,783 Well, Mom, Melanie is from Michigan. 335 00:14:27,786 --> 00:14:29,977 Okay. I think we're done here. 336 00:14:29,979 --> 00:14:31,012 Mom, wait! 337 00:14:31,014 --> 00:14:32,955 Liar! You're dead to me! Dead! 338 00:14:32,958 --> 00:14:34,533 And you look your bloody age! 339 00:14:34,536 --> 00:14:36,713 [DOOR SLAMS] 340 00:14:36,716 --> 00:14:38,048 So, where in Michigan? 341 00:14:38,955 --> 00:14:40,963 I told you I didn't want to meet her. 342 00:14:40,966 --> 00:14:42,465 Why didn't you tell me you knew her? 343 00:14:42,468 --> 00:14:43,842 Because I knew you wouldn't take my side. 344 00:14:43,844 --> 00:14:45,673 You'd say I was being dramatic and I should let it go. 345 00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:47,509 You were dramatic, and you should have let it go. 346 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,346 Look at that. My premonitions are good. 347 00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:51,514 You know what? You're going to go apologize. 348 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,350 Your premonitions... No bueno. 349 00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:55,819 Please. You have to, for me. 350 00:14:55,821 --> 00:14:58,989 It will be hard, but you do hard things for someone you love. 351 00:14:58,991 --> 00:15:01,358 I'm crazy about her. 352 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,276 What would "Model Maya" do? 353 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:09,265 ? 354 00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,900 Ah, hey guys. 355 00:15:10,902 --> 00:15:13,846 I know it's party time here, but we just had a flight land. 356 00:15:13,849 --> 00:15:18,108 I'm going to need your help with some surprise cargo! 357 00:15:18,110 --> 00:15:20,143 That's right. Turkeys. 358 00:15:20,145 --> 00:15:24,180 Oh, no, I don't have enough for everybody... 359 00:15:24,182 --> 00:15:25,815 but he does. 360 00:15:25,817 --> 00:15:27,384 [ALL OOHING] 361 00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:29,552 Look, everyone. It's regular Santa! 362 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,554 Ho ho ho! 363 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:35,558 Jimmy says you've all been good boys and girls this year. 364 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,794 Thanks, boss. You're the best. 365 00:15:37,796 --> 00:15:42,899 Ho ho ho! Race is a social construct. 366 00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:46,236 "Get me a straw." 367 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:49,606 No, JJ's looking for quiet passion. 368 00:15:49,608 --> 00:15:50,807 [SCOFFS] 369 00:15:50,809 --> 00:15:53,343 "Give me a straw." That's what he wants, Kyle. 370 00:15:53,345 --> 00:15:55,178 Oh, no, it's not? 371 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,647 [DOOR OPENS] 372 00:15:57,649 --> 00:16:00,327 "Best gift ever." Yes, very generous. 373 00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:01,940 But it is a closed set, dear. 374 00:16:01,943 --> 00:16:04,554 So, thank you, and whenever you're ready. 375 00:16:04,556 --> 00:16:06,289 "Get me a straw." 376 00:16:07,826 --> 00:16:11,027 You know what? You're going to hold the clapper thingy. 377 00:16:11,029 --> 00:16:12,796 Hello. 378 00:16:12,798 --> 00:16:15,298 Ray, I'm sorry that I left without saying goodbye. 379 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:17,367 Your mother looks like she could be a biter. 380 00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:20,070 - [CLICKS TEETH] - You remember Mom? 381 00:16:20,072 --> 00:16:22,605 Welcome to our home... 382 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,054 with a guard dog who will defend me if called upon. 383 00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:27,378 I don't think there's a dog. 384 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,615 Oh, Taylor, wait! My mom has something to say. 385 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,918 ? 386 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,453 I owe you an apology. 387 00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:37,861 You were a guest in our home, 388 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:40,228 and the way I treated you was beyond rude, 389 00:16:40,231 --> 00:16:42,994 so in the spirit of the season, and out of respect for you, 390 00:16:42,997 --> 00:16:45,728 I offer you my most sincere apology. 391 00:16:45,731 --> 00:16:49,199 I hope you'll forgive me, and that we can move past this. 392 00:16:49,201 --> 00:16:51,334 Well, Ray, if you would like to return, 393 00:16:51,336 --> 00:16:52,775 you're welcome back anytime. 394 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,804 And maybe you two can get a do-over. 395 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,994 I think you guys will really like each other a lot. 396 00:16:56,997 --> 00:16:58,999 And both of you could be my sisters. 397 00:16:59,002 --> 00:17:00,643 Yeah, we're done with that. 398 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,279 But the thing is, there's still this business about years ago. 399 00:17:03,281 --> 00:17:05,838 I mean, whatever I did back then, I did for my son, 400 00:17:05,841 --> 00:17:07,507 which is something that your mother 401 00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,108 should be able to understand. 402 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:13,790 Well, uh, for that, again, I... 403 00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:16,760 Wait. Seriously? She apologized to you. 404 00:17:16,762 --> 00:17:18,695 I dream of getting one of those. 405 00:17:18,697 --> 00:17:21,397 Ask any of the three drivers she rear-ends a day. 406 00:17:21,399 --> 00:17:22,699 She doesn't apologize. 407 00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:24,721 Well, they do usually stop short. 408 00:17:24,724 --> 00:17:26,803 Nuh-unh. It's not right. 409 00:17:26,805 --> 00:17:28,975 Taylor, I hope we can weather this. 410 00:17:28,978 --> 00:17:31,341 I don't know how you liked me in the first place. 411 00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,844 I'm not the coolest guy or the hottest guy. 412 00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:36,202 You can disagree with me at any time. 413 00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,181 But I'm not the guy who's going to stand around 414 00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,749 and watch his mom get dumped on. 415 00:17:39,751 --> 00:17:42,952 She deserves better. Not cool. 416 00:17:42,954 --> 00:17:44,320 Come on, Mom. 417 00:17:44,322 --> 00:17:45,755 Hmm. 418 00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:47,111 Sorry. 419 00:17:47,114 --> 00:17:48,212 For what? 420 00:17:48,215 --> 00:17:51,361 Nothing. It's for free. Enjoy it, darling. 421 00:17:56,001 --> 00:17:57,000 [MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY] 422 00:17:57,002 --> 00:17:58,001 Ow! 423 00:17:58,004 --> 00:17:59,801 Ooh, I felt that one. 424 00:18:01,673 --> 00:18:04,474 [GROANS] Honey, come quick. 425 00:18:04,476 --> 00:18:06,442 Beethoven is ruining Christmas. 426 00:18:06,444 --> 00:18:08,578 Merry Christmas! 427 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:11,247 It is Christmas morning. Don't you people have families? 428 00:18:11,249 --> 00:18:13,283 JJ just completed his first film project, 429 00:18:13,285 --> 00:18:15,418 and I wanted to be here when you all saw it. 430 00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:16,820 Plus, I woke up this morning 431 00:18:16,822 --> 00:18:18,788 with a profound sense of loneliness, 432 00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:21,024 and I needed to be with people who love me. 433 00:18:21,026 --> 00:18:24,861 [SILENCE] 434 00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:26,229 So, there's a movie? 435 00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:27,764 Yeah, yeah. Come on. Have a seat. 436 00:18:27,766 --> 00:18:29,432 Jimmy, if you could do the lights. 437 00:18:31,463 --> 00:18:34,737 _ 438 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:38,341 _ 439 00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:40,210 YOUNG MAN: But this is how I sound to me. 440 00:18:40,212 --> 00:18:45,949 Because... I... don't... think... in... pauses... like... this. 441 00:18:45,951 --> 00:18:48,885 It's not always easy communicating the way I do. 442 00:18:48,887 --> 00:18:52,088 "Get me the S-T-R... string?" 443 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,623 - Straw. - Strawberries? 444 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:55,825 Straw! Are you kidding me?! 445 00:18:55,827 --> 00:19:00,630 Then I come home, and you guys get me, and you really listen, 446 00:19:00,632 --> 00:19:04,334 which is why I'm so sensitive when you don't. 447 00:19:04,336 --> 00:19:07,551 But most of the time, I'm just thankful for you, 448 00:19:07,554 --> 00:19:10,655 and I can't always say exactly what I'm thinking. 449 00:19:10,658 --> 00:19:12,842 - If I could... - Good night, my love. 450 00:19:12,844 --> 00:19:15,378 Thank you. Good night, Mom. I love you. 451 00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:17,347 ? 452 00:19:17,349 --> 00:19:19,515 And Kenneth, for making me a hit with the ladies. 453 00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,618 Let's muss up this hair a little bit, 454 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,796 and I'm going to say it again, "Ladies love a moustache". 455 00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:26,089 Think about it. 456 00:19:26,091 --> 00:19:27,655 Here. Try this. 457 00:19:27,658 --> 00:19:30,293 Five more turkeys where that came from. 458 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:31,650 You kept five for yourself? 459 00:19:31,653 --> 00:19:32,929 Shh. 460 00:19:32,931 --> 00:19:35,058 Thanks, Dad. Dark meat's my favorite. 461 00:19:35,061 --> 00:19:37,061 Oh, dark meat. I know it's your favorite. 462 00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:39,168 Are those reindeer hooking up? 463 00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:41,738 No, they're dancing! 464 00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:42,972 Oh, wait. 465 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,474 DYLAN: Is this thing even on? 466 00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:47,057 It is. Thanks for the camera, sis. 467 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,853 ? We wish you a sexy Christmas and a funky New Year ? 468 00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:54,384 YOUNG MAN: Still on! Thanks for this, Ray. 469 00:19:54,386 --> 00:19:57,353 Look out, ladies. He's single. 470 00:19:57,355 --> 00:20:00,456 I appreciate all the times you've listened to me, 471 00:20:00,458 --> 00:20:02,892 even though you couldn't hear me. 472 00:20:02,894 --> 00:20:05,299 I've been listening to you, too. 473 00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:08,064 [CLICK] 474 00:20:10,101 --> 00:20:11,861 - Oh! - [BARKS] 475 00:20:11,864 --> 00:20:15,504 It's not a service dog, but it is a family dog. 476 00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:18,041 Thanks. 477 00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:20,343 Merry Christmas, everyone. 478 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:25,515 ? 479 00:20:31,095 --> 00:20:32,995 Taylor. 480 00:20:32,997 --> 00:20:35,531 I don't have your jacket, if that's what you came here for. 481 00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:37,032 No, I came to see you. 482 00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:39,068 I thought your mom said you couldn't see me anymore. 483 00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,788 She did. And I've never wanted to see you more. 484 00:20:41,791 --> 00:20:43,739 You're the bad boy. 485 00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:47,409 That's who I am! I'm the guy you don't take home to see Mom! 486 00:20:47,411 --> 00:20:49,044 It was almost too obvious. 487 00:20:49,046 --> 00:20:50,980 I guess it's time to break curfew. 488 00:20:50,982 --> 00:20:53,233 Ow. Ow. That kills. 489 00:20:53,236 --> 00:20:56,004 Ohh! Can we break curfew tomorrow? 490 00:20:56,007 --> 00:20:57,940 Bad boy needs some ice. 491 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,676 -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 492 00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:05,276 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0